Good Bye 2018

Good Tidings.

Its December and so much time has passed. The year is coming to an end & swiftly. I can say this year had large highs and a few lows. All in all? I see that our journey with New Hampshire has finally come to an end. My ex has very little he can do to harm us. We are making way to healing,relearning who we are as people, and rebuilding our lives from this horror. We can wake up in the morning in peace, now. I love beating the sun. I love watching the sunrise. I love feeling the bay breeze on my skin. I love watching the palms outside of my window dance with the breeze. I know this may sound repetitive but when you are forced into homelessness and lose absolutely everything, these mornings are magical. Chloe and I realize that at any moment the comfort of our bed, the warmth of our shower, and the peace of having a roof can be taken from us at any time. So, each day, we find gratitude in our waking. We embrace the feeling of laying down instead of sitting in a car seat all night. We embrace the fact that we can flush a toilet or shower on demand. We can even sit on the back lani and listen to music while creating our art.

Yes.

We are hard to find. We are safe. No one knows where we live and that provides a feeling of comfort like no other. In our space, we are free. Chores get done and meals are cooked. We laugh. We hug. We listen to music as loud as we please. There is no one breathing down our necks with unrealistic expectations. There is no one that enters our home that makes us unhappy, uncomfortable nor threatens our wellbeing. There is no one that comes to our home that calls us names or puts us down. We do not have a completely crazy landlord or drugged up neighbors. We can rely on the police and we can get help if needed without being put down and demeaned.

We live.

We live.

We are A LIVE!

We can breathe.

 I am overwhelmed with joy as I watch Chloe grow into an amazing woman. She is so gifted and loving. She has experienced the very worst of life and yet has risen above it. She understands life very differently then most of her peers. She knows abuse. She knows fear. She knows how things can be taken within seconds. She is resilient, and she works hard to be a better person every day. She is so tremendously funny, talented and good-hearted. She has an old lady soul. She is going to be something bigger than life someday. She has what it takes to succeed in this crazy ass world.

We are in the process of catching up on bills and working towards buying land. A tiny, self sustainable home is what we are after. Chloe and I plan to do a lot of traveling when she is of age, so a large home is not needed. We are saving what we can and rebuilding our lives. It’s an interesting process. We are learning to trust. We are learning to live in peace. Chloe loves her school. She loves her space. She is happy and that was the point this entire time.

At least, we are FREE.

Hello 2019? What will you bring?

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