Miracles

 

2017 went out with a BANG! I am still walking on cloud 9. I can’t wait to tell you what achievements we have had and how during the final hour, we finally had vindication in our very long custody battle. My Irma Grant FINALLY came through, I have added more speaking engagements to my 2018 agenda, and I worked at a new temp job to close out my 2017 budget. Yes, we are well on our way back up with the help of some amazing elves all over the country.

I missed 5 weeks of work due to court drama, jail time, and a hurricane named Irma. I worked my ass off to keep my nose above water and have huge gratitude for those who helped us stay up. Folks rallied all over the world to help us succeed. I could not be more humbled by the love and support. There is a lot to be said about being tenacious and determined. There are times when I just had to sit at the bottom of the shower crying my eyes out asking that eternal WHY question. I wonder often how much I can actually take as it’s been a very hard journey. The last three years have been a knee buckling, throat-wrenching, and a soul bursting time.  Meditation, music, crying and speaking is all I could do. All of these actions are what I like to refer to as growing pains. There were times that I lived in the womb of fear, trying to stretch my arms, legs, and pounding to get out. I wanted more and knew deeply there was something ahead. I just didn’t know WHAT that was.

I prayed and got really good with the Universe. I began to really understand that I simply can’t force my path or can I know more than the Universe. I had to become very humble and I spent a lot of time in prayer and silence. I had no choice but to keep moving even though there were obstacles. So many obstacles that I had to jump over! I had to admit to a crime I did not commit but have no way to defend myself and lose my daughter for 9 weeks while she suffered in fear. It was truly hell. I felt so much pain and I felt so alone. I was forced to become really close to myself and learn about my strengths, weakness, and fears. I had to be reborn and I was forced to make changes to survive. I was forced to work through the loss, tears, sorrow, and anger. I had to work harder than I even knew possible. I blistered, bled, and bruised but I pushed forward. Sometimes I even had to punch forward. I was NOT going to give up on my daughter, at whatever cost.

As I am learning, tomorrow I may do all of this over again!  Lessons are to be learned and frankly that doesn’t stop coming. This last year was living hell for us but I can state clearly and concisely that I am so very proud of us.

WE DID IT!

WE MADE IT!

WE finally WON!

2018 is a fresh start for us. We are now officially able to root, we are finally able to live in freedom. My ex can do very little to hurt us now and the courts are simply tired of seeing this case. That sword has been fallen on and I could not be more relieved. We are almost caught up on our late bills due to the 5 weeks of mess and I couldn’t feel more relief. We ended  2017 with a BANG! That bang allowed us to purge all that has past, allowing us room for whats to come. Whats coming is beautiful, big, and filled with love. We are so very confident about that now.

I have 7 books out, 2 in editing and several speaking events coming up. 2018 will be the year that I rise like the Phoneix I am. The ashes I am rising from are new hope, new dreams, and new energy. I am stronger than ever and have left the womb of fear to fly higher than I ever imagined possible.

 

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Until next time……

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One comment on “Miracles
  1. MJ says:

    I’m so very proud of you Rustie. You AND Your sweet baby girl. This portion of the journey has not been easy but you have aced being the best Mom on earth. You never failed at putting her interests first. Keep up the good work as this is your race to win!! 😘

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