I entered this world colicky, kicking and screaming. I entered this world of spiraling poverty through a broken teenager and her insecurities. I entered this world red and tired. I have no idea why. I have no idea what my purpose is or what the meaning of all of my experiences are. I have aimlessly wondered on this planet for 40 years, falling down, getting up, taking a different path. Sometimes; for whatever reason; I have stayed on the same path hoping that the path itself would change.
I have cried. I have Screamed. I have been depressed. I have prayed. I have Been happi. I have been deeply hurt. I have been angry. I have been doubtful. I know rage. I have been skinny. I have been fat. I have been tired. I have woken to a new way of being. I have seen magic and experienced Grace. I have seen Miracles and believe that I am surely NOT alone. The Universe is mighty.
But how does that make my “life purpose”? Am I on track to this Purpose everyone talks about? Am I near the end of this quest? I am learning daily. I have restored some faith in myself. I have even learned to speak to myself with love. I have learned to love my body again, even after all the wear and tear. I have the desire to LIVE from this fresh perspective.
I am thousands of Atoms spiraling around in wonder. I have so much to wonder about and now my thoughts go into my purpose. What am I here for? Am I to be here just for the experience of contrast. Hardship and Peace? Am I here to help others? Am I to guide them through their spiraling wonderment? My heart says I am here to experience to INSPIRE change. The Scales of Justice show in my every thought out move, like a mental tattoo.
But what if I am wrong?
I am here for?
I am here too?
I am WHAT?
I am taking one step at a time and breathing through this lesson. I am taking it slow and feeling through the moments so that I can understand my purpose. And Maybe that’s my purpose. To slow down and learn to be in the moment. To challenge my ego and fears to lessen their grip on my “every day”. What I have recently discovered is that I have purpose. I have desire. I have momentum. I have love. I have discovered that in all that has been and will be, my spiraling atomic being is a spark of light and a twirl of energy to be experienced. By you and by me.
Stay curious. Stay moving. Stay wondering.
Keep that Spiraling movement going……
Until Next time…………………