To Whom It May Concern:
As the year 2015 comes to a grinding halt, I exercise reflection. Reflection is a terrific tool to utilize when acknowledging growth. As always, I look back at all that has come and all that has gone. This includes people of which I have had to walk away from. There is no better feeling then shedding those who feel it necessary to hurt others. I can say, as with any year, there were moments of love, laughter, darkness and light. I have continued to fight for our freedom and may end up in jail for contempt as the 7th District court would rather punish me for asking for help and has charged me an erroneous 1K legal bill then to actually help prevent my ex from abusing my daughter and myself.
I have walked a long path and have found so much inequality and injustices in this process of divorcing my ex-husband and raising my daughter on my own. My ex’s desire to continue to battle me is still very much alive almost 5 years later and the courts continue to condone it. The laws and regulations in this state are so backwards I feel like I live in the dark ages and will be burnt at the stake if I continue to ask for protections. In my Book “In Pride & Prejudice: A Relocation Nightmare” I further explore this concept and outline the evidence of how my case was used more as a mockery rather than a case that needed to be taken seriously. The 7th District court caused more harm to my daughter then actually helped. This of course you will read once I finish editing.
As far as our living conditions, well we have lived better but in lue of the fact that we are unable (per 7th district courts decision) to live in a location in which jobs are plentiful, we struggle with minimum wage and low income housing. I look at an eviction notice monthly and fear the mail box as I know there will be some form of shut off notice in it or some denial from the courts for help.
In that, we struggle with the living environment being a little bit rough around the edges and Chloe does NOT want to play outside. We are gone often. We spend time in other environments then in the place that we are struggling to pay rent. This of course is in the best interest of my daughter, so saith the court. The neighbors upstairs drink heavily, do drugs and end up beating each other regularly. I fear turning on the heat and am forced to succumb to the bitterness of poverty. The programs that are advertised to help those in need actually demean, demoralize and often refuse helping and have caused us to be homeless in the past.
The State of New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services has denied me help several times because I haven’t provided my birth certificate enough times. 4 times is simply not enough and having a check stub from employment is also not enough. I need an additional signed document stating that I temped or subbed somewhere. One case manager even went as far as to tell me that I deserved my poverty for trying to take my daughter away from her father. This is simply not the case. I was trying to save my job and have the family supports I need to help me get through a divorce and raising a child on my own. The ridiculous nature of the hoops one has to jump through only prove to me that the state would prefer to have the impoverished then to assist in helping people step up and out of poverty by proving adequate jobs and housing that is reasonable not inflated.
As I sit back and watch our country implode with the ludicrous nature of our latest candidates that are, for the most part, completely shaming our country in front of the world, our poverty, joblessness, homelessness and abuse rates continue to climb while our ever failing judicial system turns its head away from those most in need. If you cannot PAY for court well, you do not have rights. In my case, the Judge wants to “teach me a lesson” and instead of helping, punishes me. That is the New Hampshire way. Or maybe it’s the new American way? My belief is that poverty does not make the criminal, it’s the lack of justice for the poor that makes the crime.
There is not one lawyer who will take my case as there is heavy fear of political repercussions as I have made this case very public. This speaks volumes as to where our legal system has gone. I would imagine that would be different if I had several thousands of dollars to toss around. I cannot even get NHLARC to call me back just to answer simple questions. I think it may be time to ask for sanctuary in a different country.
As we attempt to enjoy a bitter sweet holiday season as we are not allowed to be supported (Per 7th District Court Ruling) or near our beloved friends and family, Chloe and I still wish the very best for all of you. I received word that once again the cancerous cells that have plagued me since I was 14 are back for a 5th round and no one can offer any new way to treat it. Our struggle is real and yet we are certainly not alone. Sadly.
As we learn how to navigate through this situation, we are growing as women and I have grown as a voter. I have not found a candidate as of yet that deserves my vote nor have I found an official that requires my vote to answer what they are going to do to assist in the changes that are very much needed to turn this State and country around. As I watch my daughter struggle with her child hood because of the courts inability to think about her needs, I cringe at what our future holds. I also have to say that at least she has a clearly temporary roof and some food this winter. I have taught students who do not have any and are constantly worried about their poverty. How can they learn if they don’t have their basic needs met? I still cannot understand why this country that is so well off allows such suffering.
What I can say is that through all of the struggle and shaming, I am in the middle of editing/publishing 9 books, 3 of which are already published, a documentary and a speaking schedule that is filling up- thanks to most of you who read my blog. This is offering us hope that changes are coming! I was in shock when our lives were destroyed and the recovery has been hard. Sharing my story worldwide has made an impact has to how people see what is really happening to our communities and I have high hopes that in time, we can make changes so others do not have to live this way. I want you to know how much I appreciate your sharing and caring. I appreciate the support I get from all over the world in regards to the changes that are so needed in this country. Thank you for being part of helping get our story out as the more voices that are heard allow the courage and strength that we need to make changes.
In this, I wish you a very Happy Holiday! Celebrate what is and what will be. This too will pass. May you hold your family close as you never know when the life you earned will all be taken from you.
In Love & Light,
Po Box 1362
Dover NH 03821