“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” Havelock Ellis
I am deeply satisfied this week with my strength and my desire to just be “satisfied”. I woke up in the most perfect way this morning. I feel well rested and ready to tackle the world! I love the moments that lead up to appreciating the NOW. The HERE. It was a tough night Friday night and I had to make some choices about how to handle a personal situation. I clearly made the right choice, as now that situation is no longer a burden to me. It’s been let go and now I am able to enjoy HERE. I am able to enjoy the NOW. Which, allowed me to sleep in peace and wake up with ease.
I have had to make some pretty tough choices about not allowing someone to keep hurting us and to still offer them forgiveness. That’s a fine line to walk and a new lesson for me. In the past, I would just let them be as they will never change. However, I am no longer in my past. I am in the NOW and the HERE. Therefore, no longer will I allow this person to continue hurting us. I have taken 2 stands. One is setting boundaries and the other is forgiveness. Yes, I forgive this person.
I am blessed to have many people in my life. Some are really wonderful souls that engulf me with their love and others are souls that are mean and hurt others. However, as I grow and walk on my path, I am finding that I love all of these souls equally. I love them for the love, the good, the bad and indifferent ways they share in this human experience. I have learned to be aware of but not apart of the words, opinions, feelings or drama laid out by others. I now know the difference between owning those negative feelings and being aware of them. I have the strength to stand up and set boundaries, where as I didn’t before.
No, I am not on the Crazy train. (choo choo)
See, I have walked in my own emotional trenches and have shoveled some pretty deep personal holes but as I continue to untangle myself from myself, I have a deeper love for all around me. I can actually appreciate more of this life than I ever thought I could. I am able to let go much easier and able to receive new opportunities without that nagging guilty feeling that I don’t “deserve this”. I do not have the need to hold on to anyone or any story. I have opened myself up to allow the emotional risk taking that I need as a human.
…..To LET go…….
This journey and growth has been deeply rewarding and freeing. The very essence of accepting and loving my vulnerability and sensitivity has opened up a new depth of who I am. I feel like my senses have opened up to this large bouquet that is delicious, delicate and surprising. The very person I have always been is confidently emerging and from this growth, I have the ability to experience new terrific joys. The smell of growth and the excitement of what’s to come has opened my mental and emotional self up in so many new ways. I am empowered and am thrilled to continue this journey.
Don’t misunderstand me. I still have a shit ton of work to do and plenty of growing for sure. BUT, I am getting better at letting the crap go. I am getting better at having the experience, letting it go and moving forward. THIS is what we all need to do. Its not about “finding yourself”. It’s about allowing your self to open up and be.
I know. You think I have finally fallen off my rocker and the last 6 marbles I had left rolled under the couch, lost forever. No. I am so in love with me and even though I am going through a personal shit storm, I love the storm too. I love the fact that this time, this storm….
I got this!
I have grown to a new level. A new place and have a new resolve that allows me to LOVE my difficulties. Including myself as I am my larges difficulty. I can see the adversity as lessons in growth and not the cause of pain. ANDTHATis the difference.