A friend of mine told me last night that I was on fire. That my path is offering me the very best struggles to groom me to be the very best version of me. My path is on fire. I will rise up from those ashes as a stronger, more loving person who is finally able to stand in my own true power. I just need to go through this period as its like an awakening of sorts. Some, call this a rite of passage. We all have a story as to why we are, were we are, at any given moment in our lives. Some people continue to strive to be a better version of themselves and others are content being where they are. The cycle of life applies here, metaphorically.
From Death comes Life and at this time, there are parts of me that I have let go.
I am under the “Spring Cleaning” of my life and letting go people, places and past stories. I took a trip to a large part of my past just to embrace, accept and remember that time. I was afraid at what might gurgle up from my “Emotional Quagmire (c)” and what has been lying inside me, dormant and festering. I am greatful to finally have come to a place on my path where I was willing to take a huge risk and revisit some old skeletons. I was certainly surprised that the only place I had deep feelings and tears was the group home I lived in. I was also surprised that I missed the area so much. All of the years that have gone by, me being so far away(and not by my choice), I had forgotten that that area was my home.
Dare I say it?
Yes, I miss my home.
I am grateful that through the last couple of years I have taken steps towards healing all old wounds. I no longer want to carry that around and I see such a sparkling future once I emerge from my “ashes”. Right now, I need to go backwards in time and re live those hidden memories and accept them for what they are.
I need to grab the belly of my “Fear Beast” and let it know I am through being afraid. I am purging and cleansing my self of all that was so I can live in the NOW and what is. I do not want to repeat history and in this “Rite of Passage“, I am ensuring I don’t and that my daughters eyes will never see that history; so she cant repeat it either. I can begin to rise and that is with the help of a couple of amazing women who appeared, randomly and with no connection to each other, at the times when I needed to be reminded of my purpose. One by one, each has appeared to remind me of what I mean, though cant seem too see, to so many others.
In Thanks to you!!
I am grateful for you…….. for you were the “breath” received when I felt too tired to inhale, for being the water that I could not raise to my lips and for being the hug that I needed to feel safe. I needed you and you where there. Perfectly on time. I am tired of this journey and I am grateful to those who have helped me get through it along the way.
These stories are to be told so that we can all be there for someone, perfectly on time. The Universe may have jokes but the Universe also provides. In that, I need to have faith. No doubts and no fears but only the power of the knowing that all is all right and the Universe is here for me.
I just have to allow.
Allow the Universe to be there for YOU…..
Until next time…………………